Don’t Find Balance

You can’t swing a dead cat around any kind of women’s media without reading the word balance.  How to find it.  Get back to it.  Bring more of it into your life.

After having my first child I started to believe the balance hype.  Being home all day, recovering from a c-section and figuring out how to keep a baby alive certainly didn’t make me feel like myself.  But my old life of working in an office 10 hours a day wasn’t going to cut it either.

Of course!  Now was the time for me to get this balance thing down.  I’ll spare you the sordid details – which may or may not have involved a reoccurring nightmare that my former co-workers would find me during the day in my pajamas – but I’m sure you won’t be surprised to learn that I never found this elusive balance.

Why is balance so hard?  It’s a simple concept.  But have you ever tried to balance one of those double sided scales?  Darn near impossible.  What about standing on one foot on a balance beam?  Maybe for a moment.  So now think about standing on the balance beam with the scale.  I bet that resembles your life.  What is the likelihood that you’ll be able to stay in that pose?  I get tired just thinking about it.

Let me introduce to a lovely new word:  Equilibrium.

Equilibrium is like of floating.  With a little practice you can do it with ease.  You find that the less you fight it, the easier it is to stay suspended.  Even if the conditions change (a pool, the ocean, your tub) or if your body changes (pregnancy, a really good girls night, monthly bloat) you can still naturally find the top of the water.  It can even been done for long periods of time while you’re breathing easily in a relaxed state of calm.

Your state of equilibrium can be totally unique.  Maybe in your life it means working 3 days a week.  Perhaps you go to spin class whether you like it or not.  It could be that you need to get your hair done exactly every four weeks, watch Shark Tank on Fridays, eat brownies whenever offered and have someone else clean your toilet twice a month.  You know, for instance.

As a busy woman I know you’ve looked for balance in your life.  Now I’m asking you to stop.  Rather than searching for some kind of tedious, unattainable moment think about finding an equilibrium.  It doesn’t take a perfect formula, just finding your own natural state of steady calm.  And maybe an extra deep breath at the end of each day too.