COMMUNICATION: Talk Southern to Me (via Southern Belle Simple)

I shared these southern sayings on my blog (Southern Belle Simple) but I wanted to repost them here on the Southern C! I collected and compiled these over the years, and credit several southern wordsmiths as sources. While I might not completely understand the proper usage for every single one of them, each makes me smile.

• Some are simply expressions to describe a particular person or situation:
• Crazier than a sh** house rat
• Busier than a one-legged man at an a** kicking contest
• He’s only got one oar in the water (crazy?)
• He could thread a sewing machine and it a runnin’ (my personal favorite….don’t we all know somebody this nervous and high strung?)
• His bread ain’t buttered on both sides
• Useless as teats on the boar hog
• Busy as stink
• Old as Cooter Brown (variation Cootie Brown)
• Pretty as a speckled pup
• He’s as tight as Dick’s hatband (means he is cheap)
• They was in high cotton, but they got moved to the hind teat (things were going well, but now they aren’t anymore)
• He ain’t got a pot to pee in (very poor)
• As slow as molasses in January
• As cold as kraut
• Brown as toast, brown as a biscuit, or brown as a hoecake (the few times in my life I’ve ever had a tan, I loved receiving this compliment)
• As full as a tick, about to pop (when you’ve eaten too much)
• Grinning like a possum eating a sweet tater
• She looks like death warmed over (she isn’t looking well)
• That girl’s just a fart in the wind

Others offer a word of advice:

• If you’re going to hoot with the owls, you’ve got to soar with the eagles
• Hoe your own row
• Many hands make light work
• When cows start flying, you’ve just gotta shoot ’em (referring to a cow that constantly gets over or through a fence….also a new fave of mine!)
• You’ll lose a crop that way
• If you sleep with dogs, you’ll wake up with fleas
• Tell the truth and shame the devil
• If you run with trash, you’re gonna smell like it
• Don’t mess and gom (as in “I’ve just cleaned the whole house so you better not mess and gom in there”)
• No matter how thin you slice it, there’s two sides to everything
• The best way to go fast is to go slow
• Don’t sell your mule to buy a plow
• If you don’t straighten up, I’ll jerk a knot in your tail

Still others just offer a random sentiment:

• In for a dime, in for a dollar
• It’s never cost what it’s worth (referring to alcoholic beverages…cracks me up!)
• Some drive a Cadillac, some drive a Ford, some ride a donkey and swat it with a board, but they all get where they’re going eventually

This list is by no means complete, so feel free to add your favorite southern sayin’ in the comments! Happy Monday friend!