3 Things your daughters, nieces and other young admirers need you to teach them

Do you feel all the nostalgia and excitement of this Graduation Season? #graduationcelebration Personally, I want to know where all these years went as my baby girl graduates from high school. #tryingnottocry

It’s a confusing time for many young women starting their professional lives. There are too many themes our young ladies don’t learn at school, and they’re looking to us for success clues. For example, bring your dog to work and only eat quality dark chocolate.

These are 3 professional secrets nobody teaches in school. It’s up to us to pick up the slack and spread the word.

Be proactive.

Having successfully navigated the school system, learning to turn in what teachers want, when they want it. In the professional world, there is no one who is paid to grade your papers (unless you’re a journalist). Your job will have some deadlines and expectations, but seldom are these spelled out for you the way they are in school.

You no longer get an A for turning it a good assignment. That is merely what is expected of you. It’s now your job to figure out how to excel at your new job. If you feel like expectations are not really clear, they probably aren’t. But no one is going to clarify anything unless you ask.

So listen to yourself, try to figure things out but always ask for help when you’re confused. Hint: specific questions get you better results.

Teach people how to treat you.

In the work world, turns out there are legions of hard-working professionals who are largely ignored when it comes to raises and promotions. Don’t be one of them.

The way you are treated is largely a reflection of the way you treat yourself.

People automatically respect people who respect themselves enough to

• Take excellent care of themselves (i.e. treat themselves as VIPs)
• Aren’t afraid to ask for what they want
• Constantly hone their skills, personal and professional
• Totally uninterested in bad mouthing or gossip
• Consistently follow-through on agreements

Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you; they’re following your example. Hint: the more confident you appear, the more people assume you have something to be confident about.

Accept that not everyone has to like you. #myfave

Hard to imagine why anyone wouldn’t be honored to be in a mutual-adoration society with you, but some people have peculiar tastes. If Helga isn’t clever enough to realize how lucky she is to be in your company, that’s her problem, not yours. You have too many fascinating projects in process to worry about what others think of you.

I’ve even witnessed mothers who can’t bear their own children’s disapproval! Literally in the grocery store last week I saw a mom asking her 3-year-old to approve the items in her cart. As if the kid had any clue to nutritional values, portion sizes and cost per serving.

When you don’t care about what people think about you and you’re confident enough to not get hot and bothered when people (misguidedly of course) disagree with you, then you are golden!

That consistent behavior of letting go of your expectations for others to like you, commands respect. Respect significantly cuts down on misunderstandings because people pay more attention to those whom they respect.

Hint: not being attached to other people’s approval makes it easier for you to ask for what you want (like a raise or even a lateral move.)

Asking for what you want and not getting it is far better than not asking for what you want. Asking for what you want from a place of massive self-respect automatically ups your probabilities for getting it. Hint: start off by asking for small things, like water with no ice, and work yourself up to asking for a six-figure salary. 🙂

So listen to yourself, treat yourself like a VIP and don’t worry about other people’s opinions. That’s your tested recipe for being unstoppable at work!